


What I Would Give

by shamelessnameless



Series: So there-Verse [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alpha Lucius Malfoy, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Broken Bond, Broken Harry, Care-taking, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Omega Harry Potter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2020-04-07 18:38:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19090813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shamelessnameless/pseuds/shamelessnameless
Summary: Harry's saying goodbye.





	What I Would Give

**Author's Note:**

> Part of So There - Verse. 
> 
> Might make little sense if you're not familiar with that.

“Whatever will I do with you?” Lucius said lightly and scratched behind Harry’s ears, stroked the hair down to his nape. Harry mumbled sleepily against him, not reacting beyond that.

 

“Is Oliver not worried were you are?” Lucius asked quietly, and Harry grumbled at him, a little bit more aware but otherwise still deeply in slumber.

 

Oliver probably knew anyway, Lucius thought. There was usually only one place Harry ever went to when he had to get away and that place was usually Lucius’ bed in either his London townhouse or at the Manor.

 

The only thing unusual was that normally Harry didn’t stay for two weeks, hadn’t done that in over a year.

 

“Just a few more days,” Harry said now, and Lucius forbid himself to sigh or react outwardly in any way. He run his hand over Harry’s smooth back instead, traced a path slowly over Harry’s ribs.

 

“I’m not kicking you out,” he answered calmly, and Harry sighed, deeply, already on the verge of sleep again.

 

\--

 

A few more days turned into a week and then a week and a half.

 

Lucius was worried.

 

They didn’t do that anymore, didn’t fall into each other like they had. It wasn’t good for them both, wasn’t good for them individually. Oliver had called more than once when Harry had come back from spending time with Lucius and complained that Harry was crying in the shower, hiding himself away, not wanting to be touched.

 

“I know that it’s hard,” Oliver had said, “but you’re not making it better by sheltering him whenever he feels overwhelmed, because he’s overwhelmed all the time, Lucius. You can’t structure his life like you used to do when you were his Alpha.”

 

Lucius could see his point, but the point also felt like someone was slowly carving out his heart.

 

“Did you fight with Oliver?” he asked at last, one evening after dinner. Harry had barely eaten, just like always, and Lucius had resisted the urge to heave more food on his plate, knew it to be futile by now.

 

“No,” Harry said and took another drink of the wine Lucius knew he shouldn’t give him. And yet; he wasn’t Harry’s keeper. If anyone trusted Harry knowing himself it was Lucius and he wouldn’t compromise that for any kind of phony reassuarances by any healers.

 

“Then why are you not going home?” Lucius asked and refused to let his frustration shine through.

 

Harry tipped his head back against his chair, looked at a point somewhere above Lucius’s head.

 

“It’s tiring,” he said after a while, “to pretend to think it will be – alright. In the future. I just – I need a little break from pretending.”

 

“Baby,” Lucius said very quietly.

 

“The bond won’t take,” Harry whispered, “I can feel it. I’m willing to try because you want me to you and because Olly wants it so badly, but it won’t take. But if it does after all then I  – I just want to pretend a little longer.”

 

“I’m not sure this attitude is helpful with trying to remake a bond,” Lucius said after a long moment of silence.

 

Harry closed his eyes then, head still tipped back. Lucius didn’t comment on the tear that slowly made its way down his cheek, nor on the one that followed.

 

“I want our bond,” Harry croaked out a few minutes later and something deep ripped open in Lucius’s chest once again, forever destined to only scab over but never to heal.

 

He walked over to Harry then, fit his hand over Harry’s forehead, cradled his head against his tummy, waited until Harry opened his eyes to look at him upside down.

 

“Let’s lay down,” Lucius suggested, and Harry followed him meekly.

 

\--

 

They had never discussed if it constituted as cheating.

 

Lucius was a firm advocate for honesty when it came to running their little not-really three-way relationship with Oliver. He had helped them out during heats before; he had discussed Harry more often with Oliver than he cared to count. There was nothing in Harry’s and Oliver’s relationship that was a secret to him.

 

That they still went to bed sometimes, Harry and him, that on the other hand, was very much a secret from Oliver.

 

“I don’t want to tell him,” Harry had said, just once and very petulantly when Lucius had forced the conversation, “what I do with you is – holy. It’s our business only. Please don’t make me tell him. You can’t compare – you and him and what you mean to me.”

 

They usually did it very slow, very tender, very careful. Lucius never left any marks; Harry did, was attached to his neck like a vampire.

 

Lucius didn’t tell him, but Harry was the only person he was sleeping with and he didn’t plan on ever changing that.

 

Afterwards, Harry burrowed against Lucius’, rested half on top of him, one leg thrown over Lucius’ waist. Lucius rocked him a little, hummed a little for him, watched him become progressively drowsier until he fell asleep. Lucius kept watching him until he followed.

 

\--

 

The next morning brought Severus to his bedroom. The times in which Lucius’s death glare had scared Severus were long passed but he looked at least a little apologetic when he backed back out.

 

Lucius breathed Harry in one more time, pressed a row of kisses over his face, knowing fully well that Severus’s presence would get Harry out of his house like nothing else.

 

“What do you want?” Lucius said grumpily and ignored the coffee Severus was trying to hand him for a moment, before giving in and taking the cup.

 

“Minerva mentioned that Granger was becoming worried,” Severus said, “and I haven’t seen you in – almost four weeks I think. So I was becoming worried too.”

 

Lucius took a sip of his coffee, looked outside the window. The Manor grounds were beautiful in early spring and Lucius resolved to go outside today, even if he had to drag Harry behind him.

 

“What’s going on?” Severus asked and the touch to Lucius’s back wasn’t unwelcome; he leaned back a little against Severus’s hand and kept watching the grounds.

 

“He’s saying goodbye in case the bond forms,” Lucius said, voicing it for the first time, tried to ignore how his voice broke over it.

 

Lucius knew fully well that Severus thought it highly unlikely that Harry could re-bond but Lucius – wanted Harry to have a good life, to stop the damage to his body and mind their broken bond was still leaving. He wanted Harry to be happy and carefree and as young as he was; he didn’t want Harry forever tethered to a past he himself could never shake but he was bloody 25 years older, had lived life.

 

It wasn’t fair, and he wanted, more than anything, for life to finally be fair to Harry.

 

Severus didn’t say anything, just stroked over Lucius’s shoulders a few times. They both heard the stairs creak but didn’t move; when Harry came in, he was only in his boxers, sleepily rubbing his face before freezing on the spot once he caught sight of Severus.

 

“Professor,” he said very quietly, and Severus looked him up and down before turning frowning eyes at Lucius.

 

“He used to have more meat on him at Hogwarts,” Severus accused, and Lucius huffed out a little sound of a laugh.

 

“Somebody’s a picky eater,” he said and took pity on Harry’s obvious discomfort, handed over his own robe, not caring the least that that left him in only boxers instead. Harry clutched the robe thankfully, before turning to the coffee pot, clearly unsettled by having someone disturb their peace.

 

“I’m taking you back with me to London, Potter,” Severus said, and Lucius rolled his eyes at the name.

 

“And here I thought he’s a Malfoy,” Lucius said musingly, watched how Harry shivered a little in response, “in fact, been a Malfoy for quite some years. You were there. Stop pretending otherwise.”

 

Severus grinned, shook his head. “We go back a little longer, Lucius,” he said, “Granger says you missed a check-up and that’s apparently worrying enough for Minerva to tell me to find you. So don’t make my life miserable by refusing.”

 

“I’ll come,” Harry said, still not looking at them. They all knew that Severus was one of the few people Lucius would entrust Harry to and that that was why he was here today. Lucius went over to Harry, settled his hands on his shoulders, carefully drew him back until Harry rested some of his weight against him.

 

“He’ll be ready in an hour,” he told Severus, “find something to entertain yourself with and meet us in the salon?”

 

Severus nodded.

 

\--

 

Harry’s eyes were very bright when he looked at Lucius in front of the floo.

 

“We’ll know in two weeks,” Lucius said quietly, softly, just for him, whispered it in his ear, knowing fully well just how good Severus’s hearing was, “and we’ll deal with whatever the outcome is. You know how I feel about you, no matter what.”

 

Harry nodded, encircled Lucius’s wrist with his fingers, held on a little moment longer.

 

“I truly have all time today to do this,” Severus contemplated, “there are no other engagement in my calendar whatsoever, I –“

 

“Shut it,” Lucius said to him, looked back at Harry, the obvious fear, the obvious reluctance.

 

He wouldn’t say “it’s your choice” because they all knew what Harry would chose.

 

“Let me know when the heat starts, okay?” Lucius asked, and Harry nodded, leaned up and kissed him, breathed in deeply against Lucius’s neck.

 

“I hate this,” he whispered, and Lucius hugged him, tugged him close, ignored the little flutter it gave him every time Harry had to balance on his tiptoes to reach his arms around Lucius’s neck.

 

“If you still love Oliver –“ he started to say but Harry shook his head.

 

“It’s not that,” he said, “you know I do. I just – it’s so _unfair,_ Lucius.”

 

I know, Lucius thought but didn’t say it, held Harry little longer before releasing him.

 

“Take care of him,” he told Severus and Severus sighed, reached out a hand and waited until Harry had stepped up next to him, before settling it on Harry’s shoulder.

 

“I’m trying,” Severus said and threw the powder without looking back.

 

 


End file.
